H0MEPAGE

RASHARD CALIEL BRADSHAW
0CT0BER 12, 1990-PRESENT DAY

I was born not too long ago. I don’t remember much. The year was 1990 and I would assume it was cold since I was born in October. My mother was just another case in the long line of teen pregnancies that were drastically on the rise around that time. However, she vowed to be different. She forged working papers, budgeted her money, and juggle school, work, and a child so my life wouldn’t be a soup opera like everyone else who grew up without a father. I never had a father and I don’t like the idea of one. I never felt like I grew up with a handicap due to having one parent because my mother spoiled me, and my little brother who would come around 4 years after me. My farthest places memories are like tainted stills. I guess that’s just the romantic way my thoughts captured all the scandals and tragedies of my childhood even with a hard working mother, she couldn’t always be there. I will never forget my first day of kinder garden. All the white girls just were so attached to me and we played hand games and painted. The boys alienated for reasons I didn’t understand until I reached 3rd grade. I always had a really deep connection with myself since I was the only one I talked to about serious issues. I mean I was never a loser in school. I was always hanging out with the popular I just didn’t have a voice and didn’t care to find one. I was quite alright with the idea of drifting along with the crowd until I started high school. High school was my coming out days and now they are gone. My biggest achievement in high school was finally accepting myself, flaws and all, and having friends that love me for me. Though this may seem like a minor achievement after walking in my shoes you would feel otherwise.



I am a sinner & a saint. I am a preacher & a pusher. I am a rebel & a teacher. A complete walking contradiction. I'm nothing but a wild young heart that knows it all, saw it all, & lived it all. You should get to know me. I'm the type to change up your state of mind.

MEM0RIES 0F 1ST DAY 0F SENI0R YEAR ENGLISH

THE FIRST DAY 0F MY SENI0R YEAR STARTED 0FF LIKE THE FIRST DAY 0F MY JUNI0R YEAR. INSTEAD 0F HAVING AN EASY G0ING CLASS FIRST PERI0D I WAS SH0VED INT0 A RIG0R0US C0URSE T0 START MY DAY F0R THE NEXT 10 M0NTHS. THAT’S JUST MY LIFE. I WASN’T AS TERRIFIED AS THE REST 0F MY CLASSMATES HAD SEEMED WHEN MS. R0CHAMN WALKED INT0 THE R00M SMELLING LIKE FRESH CIGARETTE SM0KE & THE S0ULS 0F THE CHILDREN SHE HAD ATE PRI0R T0 FIRST PERI0D, I WAS JUST S0 TIRED. MS. R0CHMAN & I HAD ALREADY BUMPED HEADS S0 I HAD N0 FEARS.




0UR FIRST ASSIGNEMENT WAS T0 DRAFT UP A LETTER THAT MS. R0CHMAN W0ULD MAIL BACK T0 US 10 YEARS AFTER GRADUATI0N. I DIDN’T SEE H0W SHE WAS G0ING T0 FIND ME IN 10 YEARS. MY PLANS INCLUDED A LUSH APARTMENT IN L0ND0N WITH AN EXCITING FASHI0N CAREER, I WAS H0PING 0N STARTING 0VER FRESH & NEW. WHAT THE FUCK DID 18 YEAR 0LD ME HAVE T0 SAY T0 28 YEAR 0LD ANYWAY? I F0UND MYSELF RANTING AB0UT MY MEANINGLESS CRUSHES, MY DREAMS, & H0W MUCH I HATE THE L0NG WALK T0 SCH00L. MAYBE I WILL APPRECIATI0N THE LETTER WITH TIME.

FAV0RITE B00K FR0M SENI0R YEAR

PARADISE L0ST: I L0VE T0 READ BECAUSE I HAVE An 0VERACTIVE IMAGINATI0N. PARADISE L0ST BY J0HN MILT0N HAD MY BRAIN, TH0UGHTS, & EMM0TI0NS W0RKING 0VERTIME. THE IMAGERY IN THE TEXT WAS BEY0ND BEAUTYFUL, EVEN IN THE PAGES I C0ULDN’T UNDERSTAND. I THINK LIKE AN AGN0STIC BUT S0METHING INSIDE 0F ME C0ULDN'T HELP BUT TEAR UP AT H0W R0MANTIC CATH0LICS PAINT THE AFTERLIFE T0 BE. MILT0N'S 0F INTERPRTETATI0N ALS0 MADE THE PICTURE THAT MUCH M0RE VIVID. IT WAS SUCH A G00D READ T0 THE P0INT WHERE I REALLY WANT T0 READ IT AGAIN. ANGELS, DEM0NS, DEVILS 0H MY !

LEAST FAV0RITE B00K FR0M SENI0R YEAR

TESS 0F THE D’URBDERVILLES: H0W DARE Y0U TH0MAS HARDY WRITE SUCH AN AMAZING B00K THAT DIMINISHED THE CHANCES 0F ME RECEIVING ANYTHING HIGHER THEN A “C+” F0R THE SEC0ND TRIMESTER. I READ IN THE TUB. I READ 0N THE TRAIN. I READ DURING FREE PERI0DS. I EVEN TALKED DURING EVERY CLASS DISCUSSI0N. H0WEVER, I STILL FAILED EACH & EVERY TEST. IT JUST MADE ME FEEL LIKE N0 MATTER H0W HARD I TRIED I C0ULDN'T UNDERSTAND WHY I C0ULD FULLY F0LL0W THE ST0RY LINE, CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT, & EVEN THE B0RING STUFF BUT I GUESS I C0ULDN'T QUITE CATCH THE FAINT UNDERT0NES. I WANTED T0 BURN THAT B00K.

FAV0RITE ASSIGNEMENT FR0M SENI0R YEAR ENGLISH

THE “A BUG’S LIFE” PR0JECT WAS MY FAV0RITE PR0JECT BECAUSE IT WAS REALLY FUN T0 THINK 0F MYSELF AS AN ANIMAL. I PUT A L0T 0F TH0UGHT INT0 C0MPARING MYSELF T0 AN 0YSTER. I HIGHLY D0UBT MS. R0CHMAN WAS AS IMPRESSED WITH MY HAND DRAWN ARTW0RK & WITTY C0MPARIS0N AS I WAS TH0UGHD. I RECEIVED AN 83 TH0UGH I DESERVED AN 125. I FEEL LIKE 0UT 0F EVERY STUDENT MY ANIMAL ACTUALLY MADE SENSE. I WAS G0NNA SAY I THINK IM CUTE S0 I MUST BE A PUPPY 0R I STAY UP LATE NIGHTS S0 I MUST BE A BAT. MY METAPH0RS WERE DEEP & MS. R0CHMAN JUST DIDN'T QUITE GET IT.

LEAST FAV0RITE ASSIGNEMENT FR0M SENI0R YEAR ENGLISH

WHILE FRANKENSTEIN WAS AN AMAZING READ THE “TRIAL & JURY” PR0JECT THAT CAME WITH IT WAS SUCH A DISASTER. I DESPERATELY WANTED T0 BE THE DEFENSE ATT0RNEY. H0WEVER, P0SITI0NS IN THE C0URT R00M WERE SELECTED RAND0MLY FR0M MRS. R0CHMAN’S JAR 0F CH0C0LATE & I WAS N0T HAPPY. I ENDED UP BEING A JURY MEMBER. I MISSED 0NE DAY 0F THE TRIAL & GAGGED AS MY GRADE DR0PED. I FEEL LIKE I DESERVED A BETTER GRADE 0N MY PAPER EXPLAINING WHETHER 0R N0T DR. VICT0R FRANKENSTEIN SH0ULD BE HELP ACC0UNTABLE F0R THE CRIMES 0F HIS CREATI0N.

RESEARCH PAPER

THE 0RIGINAL SEX KITTEN: MAE WEST ..


THIS PAPER WAS SUCH A HEADACHE. I WISH I W0ULD HAVE PUT M0RE TIME INT0 IT BUT I WAS N0T TAKING MY SCH00L W0RK THAT SERI0USLY AT THIS M0MENT DURING MY SENI0R CAREER BECAUSE I WAS DEALING WITH THE FALSE HIGHS 0F MY FIRST TEENAGE L0VE AFFAIR. I CH00SE T0 WRITE AB0UT THE BANNED PLAY CALLED SEX BECAUSE I KNEW WITH A NAME LIKE THAT I C0ULDN'T RESIST. THE PLAY WAS S0 G00D. THE RESEARCH PAPER WAS S0 BAD. I PLAN 0N SAVING MY PAPER TH0UGH JUST S0 CAN APPLY MS. R0CHMAN'S N0TES T0 THE RESEARCH PAPERS I HAVE T0 D0 IN C0LLEGE.

FAV0RITE/LEAST FAV0RITE CLASSES DURING SENI0R YEAR

-FAV0RITE CLASSES-

FREE PERI0D
LUNCH
THEATER



I AM A SENI0R. WHY SH0ULD I HAVE ANY CLASSES?

-LEAST FAV0RITE CLASSES-

STATISTICS WITH DR. 0RL0V
ENV. SCIENCE WITH MR. NESFIELD
FAMILY LIVING WITH MS. BENDER
LAW & PUBLIC SAFETY WITH MS. P0WELL
NEWS WITH MS. CLARK

MY LIFE W0ULD HAVE BEEN BETTER WITH0UT THESE CLASSES.

FAV0RITE ST0RY FR0M HIGH SCH00L CAREER

MADEA, MADEA, MADEA 0H H0W I L0VE THEE! THIS PLAY WAS S0 AMAZING. I READ IT MY S0PH0M0RE YEAR IN MS. MCGRATH'S GREEK DRAMA ELECTIVE & I L0VED EVERY MINUTE 0F IT. I REMEMBER S0 VIVIDLY HAVING T0 ACT 0UT SCENES & JUST BEING SURROUNDED BY ACT0RS WH0 ACTUALLY ENJ0Y ACTING. THAT FEELING WAS S0 GREAT. THE DRAMATIC READINGS & THE CHARACTERIZATIONS, THAT CLASS WAS REALLY FUN. I L0VE A G00D SCANDAL0USE GREEK TRAGEDY & MADEA IS 0NE 0F THE BEST.

LEAST FAV0RITE ST0RY FR0M HIGH SCH00L

MY LEAST FAV0RITE ST0RY FR0M HIGH SCH00L W0ULD HAVE T0 BE GRAPES 0F WRATH. M0RE LIKE GRAPES 0F BOREDOM. I MEAN THE STORY WAS OKAY BUT THE FACT THAT EVERY OTHER CHAPTER WAS FILLED WITH METAPHORICAL SCENES THAT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE ALREADY BLAND STORY LINE WAS DEF NOT ONE OF MY HIGH SCHOOL HIGHLIGHTS. THE FACT THAT MS. CLARK LOVED THE BOOK SO MUCH THAT SHE BACKED IT UP WITH A SCRAPBOOK PROJECT AND DRAMATIC READINGS MADE ME WANT TO SKIP CLASS. JOHN STEINBECK SHOULD HAVE WROTE LULLABY'S BECAUSE HE SURE KNEW HOW TO PUT ME TO SLEEP.

FAV0RITE & LEAST FAV0RITE CLASSES DURING HIGH SCH00L

-FAV0RITE CLASSES-

ANYTHING ART
THEATER
ENGLISH
SOCIOLOGY

I REALLY LIKE T0 WRITE, ACT, DRAW, & TALK. S0 IF THERE IS A CLASS THAT HAS ANY 0F THESE THINGS TIED INT0 ITS CURRICULUM I'M M0ST LIKELY SITTING IN THERE.I I WISH THERE WAS A CLASS THAT C0MBINED ALL THESE THINGS.



H0NESTLY, ANY CLASS THAT DR. BRIAN HALL IS TEACHING IS MY FAV0RITE CLASS. I L0VE 0UR L0VE/HATE RELATI0NSHIP & H0W RAND0M HE CAN BE. HIS LARGE SUPPLY 0F GAME IS ALS0 A PLUS.

-LEAST FAV0RITE CLASSES-

ANYTHING SCIENCE OR MATHESQUE
PHYSICAL EDUCATI0N

MEM0RIES 0F FIRST DAY AT DMAE

THIS WAS BACK IN THE DAY WHEN DMAE WAS JUST A@E & DWIGHT M0RR0W. WHEN DM WAS THAT C0NCENTRATI0N CAMP ACR0SS THE WAY THAT N0 0NE WANTED T0 ACKN0WLEDGE, TALK AB0UT, 0R WALK 0VER T0. I WALKED INT0 A NEW SCH00L, IN A NEW T0WN, BUT I WASNT ANY DIFFERENT FR0M THE RASHARD FR0M TEANECK. I 0NLY HAD 0NE FRIEND WH0 HAD ALS0 SIGNED UP T0 PLAY A R0LE IN THE EXPERIMENT KN0WN AS A@E. D0MINIQUE WAS A FAMILIAR FACE & THATS WHERE 0UR RELATI0NSHIP ENDED. WH0 W0ULD HAVE TH0UGHT THAT RELATI0NSHIP W0ULD GR0W INT0 WHAT IT IS T0DAY. I SURE DIDN'T. SHE SURE DIDN'T.



I L00KED S0METHING LIKE THIS. MY SELF ESTEEM WAS LACKING, MY CL0SET WAS LACKING, & MY SENCE 0F SELF W0RTH WAS LACKING. I WAS A MESS. I HATED MIRR0RS, I HATED PE0PLE, I WAS BASICALLY A TR0LL.


THE FIRST DAY WAS S0 STRAINING. I C0ULDN'T HELP BUT THINK AS I WALKED FR0M CLASSR00M T0 CLASSR00M F0LL0WING MY C0MPLICATED SCHEDULE THAT I WASN'T EVER G0ING T0 BE ABLE T0 ADJUST T0 THE "HIGH SCH00L" STATE 0F MIND. MY TEACHERS VARIED IN PERSONALITIES BUT MY FAV0RITE WAS MS. MCGRATH. I D0NT KN0W WHY I LIKED HER I JUST DID. SCH00L ENDED & I WALKED T0 MY "AUNTS" H0USE SINCE I WAS LIVING WITH HER DURING MY FRESHMEN YEAR. I W0ULDN'T T0 DR0WN MYSELF IN THE TUB. WITH TIME I BEGAN T0 FEEL M0RE SECURE IN HIGH SCH00L, MADE S0ME FRIENDS, L0ST S0ME WEIGHT, & CHANGED MY STYLE. N0W I ACTUALLY CAN BE A TAD NARCISSISTIC.

AWARDS PAGE

THE CLASS M0ST LIKELY T0 GET SCREWED 0VER

THE GRADUATING CLASS 0F 2009, CHEERS T0 Y0U !

THE BEST PARTY THR0WER AWARD G0ES T0 ..

DANNY Z MY WHITE B0Y H0MIE !!

THE BEST B00TY AWARD G0ES T0 ..

EDIBLE EDDIE !!

THE WEIRD0 AWARD G0ES T0 ..

TUBB, JAZZ, TESH, NAY,C0RDY & JAY

THE FAG HAG AWARD G0ES T0 ..

TENACIA M0RRISEY !!

THE M0ST LIKELY T0 PISS RASHARD 0FF AWARD G0ES T0 ..

TIMMY !!

THE GIRL WH0 WAS A GAY MAN IN HER PAST LIFE AWARD G0ES T0 ..

D0MINIQUE EVA EVANS !!

& LASTLY THE HEADACHE AWARD G0ES T0 ..

JERIJAH WEST !!

FRIENDS PAGE

WHAT IS Y0UTH, BUT A FORGOTTEN TRUTH, THAT BURNS INSIDE US LIKE A FIRE? WHAT IS YOUTH TO THOSE WHO HAVE IT BUT AN UNWANTED DESIRE? THE FLAME IS DRAWN BUT BURNS OUT QUICK TO THOSE WHO DO NOT REQUIRE. WHAT IS YOUTH TO A FAST RUNNING CHILD BUT AN IDEA SIMPLY PERSPIRED.









I D0NT HAVE MANY FRIENDS. I KN0W MANY FACES. I FEEL LIKE WITH A PERSONALITY LIKE MINE YOU EITHER LIVE FOR ME OR WANT TO STRANGLE ME IN MY SLEEP. I JUST FEEL LIKE MANY PEOPLE CAN'T HANDLE THAT BUT THATS QUITE ALRIGHT.

D0 Y0U REMEMBER

What is high school, really? But a picture in a yearbook ...



Remeber ...

INN0CENCE?


WHEN WE SNUCK INT0 FASHI0N WEEK?


WHEN I F0UGHT TRAVIS?


THE G00D 0LD DAYS WHEN DMAE WAS DM & AE?


WHEN RIFLE LINE WAS PART 0F THE MARCHING BAND?


WHEN DANNY T00K A SUMMER BREAK AFTER THE FIRST TRIMESTER 0F SENI0R YEAR?


WHEN JANELLE M0NAE & S0LANGE'S ALBUMS CAME 0UT?


THE CLASS TRIPS; THE G00D, THE BAD & THE UGLY?


D0MI’S NATURAL HAIR C0L0R?


SPIRIT WEEK?


PR0M?


WHEN I WASN’T A BITCH? NO, I DIDNT THINK S0 ...